When being chased by police, you’re best chance is to throw the passenger out the window. They will most likely stop for them, so you can get away.

A woman might as well propose: her husband will claim she did.

Once you have loved someone, you’d do anything in the world for them… except love them again

” I will take ‘Same Shit /  Different Day’ category for $200.00, Alex.”

sometimes I wish I was a bird so I could crap on the people I don’t like.. Bahahaha

I’m so mad I don’t know if I’ll shit OR go blind, so I guess I’ll close one eye and fart.

If Apple goes down as well, I can already see the headlines, “Apple and Blackberry crumble”.

Can’t face me.? Turn around. Can’t stand me.? Sit down. Can’t handle me.? Walk away.

~ you tube, twitter and Facebook will join into one time-consuming website called you-twit-face!

Don’t look at it as “having a crappy day”, look at it as “making the beer taste soo much better when the day is done!”

New motto in life- “it’s not mean if it’s funny

sometimes I wish I was a bird so I could crap on the people I don’t like.. Bahahaha >:D

My Internet is down today; I think my neighbor forgot to pay the bill. They are irresponsible lol

Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant.

Best Friends Listen to what you dont say.